This month, we welcome Patty and listen in to one of her MANY telephone calls with her friend Carmella!

"Ciao Carmella it's Patty.

How awe ya! Sorry I have not called for a while but I got a lot on my mind. Do you have a few moments to tawk?.......

Oh!, your Motha?...I'm glad she is feeling betta....
Thank Gawd, thank Gawd! .......Fabulous, fabulous! I knew the red velvet would look good!......

Wait a minute, wait a minute, she said your house looks like a funeral parlor? ....

You're a genius Carmella... I think I would have kicked her till she dropped! ....

Oh yea! well I invited my brotha Johnny, his wife Rose, and their thee kids, Johnny Junior, Mikey and Doris over for dinna. It was my brotha's 45th birthday.

So I went to Cherie to get my nails and hair done. She never, never, never makes me wait! Then I drove to the Shop Rite to buy some sausage and ribs for my sauce. Sure here's my sister in-law Joannie's famous Tomato Sauce recipe:

Click here!

It's delish! I make it once a week.

Oh my gosh let me get back to the story...so there I was smack in the middle of the market when the cellie begins to buzz. It's Vinnie and he tells me that Vinnie Junior was caught smoking something awful behind the gymnasium! The little joik..

The principal said that he was a disgrace and suspended him for one month! He'll be under my feet all the time!

Sure, I went and picked him up and told him go to your room. I said, just wait until your fatha gets home!

I went into the formal living room and took a shot of whiskey, what else did you think I did?

At noon he came out and apologized to me. He said he was hungry so I started to make the sauce.

Oh well as luck had it I had some Italian sausage in the freeza, so I started frying the meat.

Then the phone rang, it was Johnny Senior. Not only did I have VJ to deal with but my brotha Johnny yelling at me. So, I walk outside onto the deck to tawk to him I wouldn't disturb Vinnie. My brotha said he had a tiff with my motha and that he wasn't coming over if she was! She claims he's never there to help her ever since Pop died. Yada yada yada...

I'm telling you I walked back into the house and I nearly died myself! My whole house was filled with smoke. I forgot that I was browning the meat for the sauce! I burnt my new Caphalon frying pan!

Sure I opened up all the windas and then Frankie the fire chief showed up. I poured him a cup of cawfee and said I was sorry.

I told him about Vinnie Junior and my brotha and what had happened and he said, "Patty, it's not over until it's over."

I'm telling you! We'll tawk over the weekend... Chowbella darling!"