Joy darling,

Just wanted ta drop you a little note and let you know that I did not forget about you.  I just had a lot on my mind packing for the vacation and all.  I really do not want to talk about it, but Father Gulliani knocked at the door before we left and was concerned that we had not left a donation at the Church in the last few weeks.  He talked about some of the issues with us and we told him that upon our arrival back we would have some macaroni with him.

Well we're having an amazing time here in Alcapulco, doll.  You know Joy all those coconuts and that warm absolutely fabulous ocean.  That ocean is as clear as my lucite dining-room chandelier.  Oh my gosh, one minute you are relaxing and the next  the natives are all over you trying to sell you the moon and the stars.  I have to tell you, maybe though it was because I was topless?  You know a 40D can attract a lot of attention I suppose.  

 
Joy, let me tell you about what happened at the airport.  Oh goodness, I was a little nervous and all about going to the airport with all that's been going on.  I did not mind very much arriving six hours early as I need to touch up my nails anyway.  That ex-Governor Tom Ridge has definitely hired some disgraciados though.  

Joy, there we were at the front of the security line and some grim faced inspector called me over to her, real nasty like.  This buttanna could have been one of the boys (If you know what I mean).  She was a brute I'm telling ya! 

"Oh, excuse me for breathing " I told her. Upon those words she picked up my new Louis Vuitton valise and slammed it down on her table like it was pizza bread.  Can you just imagine Joy, all this altitude and we weren't even off the ground yet?  

Oh my Gawd! Oh my Gawd, all I could think about was her going through all my personal belongings with those filthy hands of hers.   She said 'You got any plants or seeds in here lady?'.  I said of course not!  Joy if I tell you my wire lined best bras were flying every where.  Then she pulled out my little animal print teddy with the matching g-string have-a-good-vacation panties.

I lost it. I yelled at her and said 'Inspecta why are ya being so stupid!'  She called over to two of her cronies to hold me back.  I swear if 'the Rock' was here I would have had him slam her down so hard she wouldn't have known what hit her.  Then again she probably would have liked it, that bruiser. 

I was livid by now and told her that would be enough!  She looked at me and said 'Lady what the hell do you have in here that smells like that!'  Oh my Gawd Joy, she ploughed through my bag and ripped right into my meatball sandwiches.  She splattered the sauce all over my clothes .  You know I always bring some sandwiches on the plane because that food is so God awful.  Thank goodness I has some of my famous Biscotti in my pocket. Click here!

  I never been through anything like that before!  Do you know she even ate one of those meatballs and grinned right back at me?  If I hadn't had my best red dress on with the sequence and my real good black leather cape I certainly woulda Robert Blake'd her!

 

Speak to ya real soon,

Chowbella!

Love ya,

Patty.